23 August 2013
The moon’s soft light illuminated our sacred land so brightly, and all was so quiet and still. No sound from outside, not even the wind stirred. I was looking forward to going out into the biting cold under the whispering pines for sacred ceremony. I could feel the presence of the spirits of place – waiting. But then a wave of energy came over me as I tidied the kitchen, my heart tightened uncomfortably and I knew I just had to go to bed. I gave in to the symptoms and rested the entire next day.
We all receive the energies uniquely, and I was being told to rest in a big way. I know there is nothing wrong with my heart. For me personally, it is merely an ascension symptom, but my advice for everyone these days is to know your own bodies and listen to your inner guidance. I also knew I had to honour my body’s wishes.
The astrology of this time is about saying “yes” and understanding what is possible, of riding the waves with ease when you let go into the intuitive stream. While I was resting (read: working from bed) the phone rang and our hay delivery guy wanted to come at a time when Andrew would be in Canberra with our daughter. Without hesitation, I said I would go in his stead. That was the open door – the easiest thing to do. I said “yes”. Besides, I don’t have the physical strength to help unload the really big bales of hay.
So I spent yesterday afternoon putting up flyers for my workshop Set Yourself Free (next weekend, Aug 31-Sep 1), all around Griffith, my favourite Canberra suburb. I can’t wait to help people become more free spirited, and share some of the latest teachings from the fae. I see so many people stuck in old limited thought systems and beliefs, struggling with the energies, cranky, closed down and alone, and I was imagining the delight on their faces when they let go into magical living (read: excited and grateful to have a gift to share to help people, and knowing that it will also help us keep our own large animal family in hay).
The last stop for me was a comedy venue. I have been guided internally for a while now to go back to comedy with Andrew, and the next action to take, of course, is to book a venue and do it. I checked out the stage with rising excitement (read: Higher Self talking), then noticed two women with a deck of Angel cards sitting at a table. I introduced myself and my flyers and the woman invited me to sit with them, introducing herself as a free spirit. She asked for permission to do a reading of me (not with the cards). I don’t let just anyone read me these days, because words are so powerful and can block you if they are negative or badly interpreted – but I could tell this was no ordinary meeting. It was a heart meeting of two free spirits – in a comedy venue. She was of fae lineage, that was clear. And I liked her.
One of the many things she told me was that I needed some love and that I spent far too much time giving. (Not news!) She wanted me to soak my feet when I got home, something I knew I would never do as self care time isn’t high on the agenda when one has a large family to care for.
We chatted for about half an hour and to stay in ayni (right action reciprocity, or right relations), I asked her what she would like, even though the conversation has included a quick reading from me. She asked for a sandwich. I only had $10 in cash with me, but it felt so good to give (read: giving tells the Universe you are already abundant).
Self-Nurture and Acceptance
Driving home through the dark, cold night, Tamsin asleep beside me, my thoughts turned to the challenge of self-nurturing. It’s something I teach and know how vitally important it is, and while nurturing for me was spending time in spiritual pursuits, in nature and with the animals and family, there were other things I wasn’t doing because of the pressure we are currently under to provide.
I decided to spend the drive home doing processes around why I wasn’t important or good enough to take time for, and where this might be holding me back in my bigger picture. Why couldn’t I love my S-Elf and take care of me, as I took care of the animals? I began to view my S-Elf as a neglected puppy and the waves of love flowed out to wrap me in the love the psychic told me I needed. Self love is the foundation to real freedom.
Like many of you, I grew up an ultra-sensitive, in a home that didn’t really understand. My soul chose this for a reason. And of course my “story” led me to quest for understanding, meaning and enlightenment. In the 1980s, I met personal growth teacher Sondra Ray who I remember one time, came down from the stage, put her hands on my shoulders, shook me gently, and said firmly, “Why are you so stuck on this?”
The “this” was a process on “I’m not good enough”. She gave me an affirmation “I am good enough”. But for me – that wasn’t good enough! I was so “not good enough” that surely I needed a stronger affirmation! Before Sondra, my acting teacher, Leila Blake, had told me that being shy and self-conscious was selfish. And she was right. An actor must give their all to the audience. To hold back part of your essence is selfish and denies the audience a full experience. This is true of life. Are you being All to life? Or are you hiding behind a wall, and not letting the world enjoy who you really, really are.
What is the fear that stops us all from loving ourselves enough to be really free? Isnt it time to leap into love?
Thanks to Leila’s training and Sondra’s life coaching, this shy, “I’m not good enough” journalist went on to become a stand-up, sketch and improvisational comic, performing on stages around the globe. I also took my gift of empathy and telepathy and used it in service for animals and nature internationally, to make a difference.
As the love for the puppy S-Elf that I am flowed around me all the way home and to a sound sleep, I felt nurtured and even more able to give to humans as well as animals.
These days, true wild freedom is vital for me and for all of us if we are to meet the challenge of creating the new world of peace. It starts with love. It starts with nurturing. It starts with doing things for yourself, that will help set you free.
Open the door, and say “yes” to joining us next weekend for Set Yourself Free and let’s together, drop the chains that bind us, and create new stories that nourish the S-Elf, and the world.
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Billie Dean can be found at billiedean.com, wildpureheart.com and deeppeacetrust.com. Copyright © Billie Dean, 2013. You are welcome to share this article but only in its complete form with author and website attached. Thank you!