Twilight Zone

4153268757_cd8cb90474_zEclipse, Equinox, Easter, Serpent Energy and A Message from Gypsy, the Centaur Queen of Avalon

16 March 2016

March is a month in which surrender is the best thing we can all do! The biggest month astrologically this year, it is a time for endings. For re-set. For re-think. For letting go. For going within.

I’ve been trying to get this newsletter out for two weeks — but even here in Avalon, the powerful pull of the Otherworld’s tide, found us in shock, grieving and keeping vigil around the clock as animals decided to cross. And if we look at the wider world, animals and people are leaving in droves. Their souls know what they are doing. And it speaks volumes about the times, and the strength of the warriors for peace — the old souls holding the new energies.

Gypsy died. One of the tall centaurs who lived in Avalon before we came here, who we saved from an uncertain future as they were all bred for the racetrack. Instead of that life, a dozen horses suddenly found themselves enjoying a reign of peace. Gypsy had 20 years of peace. Two of that original herd remain now. But Gypsy — with her glossy coat glistening like burnished gold — she grew to be a Centaur Queen. And I miss her. Her love and her presence. We had a special bond.

Gypsy gave me a powerful message. Shamaniically, her illness was another initiation. A story for another time. But she told me the 20th was important.  Very important.

Equinox. The 20th is Equinox.

This  eclipse period is about endings. The Equinox marks the end of a cycle of shifting. Easter, symbolically is the resurrection, or time of something new or renewed. That comes just after a full moon with another eclipse — big endings. And if you weren’t aware the recent new moon was a Super moon with a full solar eclipse.

No wonder so many people and animals are leaving. The door is open and the tidal pull is strong.  Their deaths are like initiations for us. To make us stronger, to wake us up, to make us live more fully alive.

In the planetary mix right now we have Chiron – the centaur.  The wounded healer.  The one who heralds new ways of healing.  We are seeing the collapse of Big Pharma as truths come to light.  We are also seeing the embracing of new, gentle understandings of our divine blue print, our power to heal, and our wider understanding of frequency.

Here at home, we shockingly lost two of our beloveds to snake bite. One on the last full moon. One on the New Moon.

Hot, agitated  relentless weather. Snake bites. Chiron meeting serpents. Serpents being the supreme symbol of healing. And shedding. Gypsy also talked about the importance of the sun and the snakes spoke of the  rise of the Divine Feminine — the reclaiming of our original power as a people fully awake and sacredly connected to the land — our Mother.  And all this happened at a time when the sun was beating down on us with unbearable hot weather and solar flares were shaking us to the core and  shifting our electro magnetic fields.

Wake up — you are divine beings — not slaves.

We have never had beloveds being bitten before and i don’t believe they were accidents. I believe there were soul contracts to be fulfilled at this very time in astrological history. There is just too much going on to think otherwise.

While it’s very tough on our tender hearts (we are still in shock I think). there are messages here for all in the wider community..

We are being aided powerfully to shed whatever is left to keep us from being Love, and to reset and step up for our Divine nature.

So make sure you take some time out on Sunday, March 20 – the Equinox. Light a candle for you and your lost loved ones. And meditate on how the world could look if we all woke up out of our trancelike state and began to honour the Divine Feminine within. Powerfully creative, wildly impulsive, deeply nurturing and caring (of all species). Deeply loving of self.  And actively making change to make the world a better place.  No more complacency. Now is the time to be the new human.  Just embody Love.

I know that’s hard at a time when the world is crashing down around us.  But imagine yourself a powerful merkabah to sit inside, protected from all the noise in the world. Still yourselves. Get centred. And take a pair of golden scissors to the past.

This is a time for new stories, complete reinvention. Something you can get excited about. It’s a time to upcycle, recycle, give to others, get connected, activate your community, plan to get off the grid, downsize, prepare to start your business out of things you love to do, do something fun with your family, and be kind to all living beings.  Walk lightly!  Go plant based, grow your own veggies and fruit and nut trees if you can.  Be the change. Set the example.  Encourage others.  Together we can use this time to actively dream in a beautiful world. Invite the street for a  vegan pot luck or a vegan barbecue in the local green space.  Get others thinking and acting too.  Don’t wait for the world to change.  Be the change.  It’s time for people power.

Take the opportunity on the Equinox to use those powerful energies to anchor in the new you — a beautiful being of light, radiant with the Divine Feminine and Divine Love, a manifesting super star, creating a gentle new world of deep peace for all species  with every step.

Use this time to focus on the kind of world you really want.  Re do your treasure maps.  Write and paint what you want.  And not “I want a big car”.  That kind of list is so old world.  How about “I am thriving and happy with my family, taking down time to surf and play guitar”.  Or whatever the equivalent is for you.

The Equinox is a time for the Divine Codes to activate and the veil will be thin. It’s a good time to gather with friends, do some uplifting ceremony and listen to what the Otherworld may be whispering. There’s a lot going on right now in the Unseen. Feel the turn of the season’s wheel, listen to the Earth, and always be honouring. This is definitely a time to give back. We use oats and cake to honour the Spirits of Place and the fae.

And on Easter, you can rise again — reborn, anchoring your new intentions with every step.

Thanks for being amazing and wonderful you, and helping this new world to be birthed. This is how we do it.  Step by step, each one of us — collectively making the difference.  Love being the key to transmute everything.

RIP Gypsy – you humble me with your Great Love,  and the gorgeous, brave and loving warrior cat Bhakti.  RIP Little Sally the sheep who just wanted to be with her mum, Zac the goat kid  who thought he wasn’t good enough to live in a place of peace ( we healed that thought before he left) and Shimmer the cat who received so much love and acknowledgement , she decided to leave while purring and holding my hand.  So peaceful.  All of you are deeply loved and deeply missed.  Thank you for your presence in our lives. You each made it richer.


Love Candles photo © kate fisher. Used with permission under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

Farewell, Dusty


Dusty, from a photo taken in 2008.

It is with great and tender sadness that I write to inform all our friends that our beloved Dusty has passed. I was here alone and came in from the evening chores to find him sleeping peacefully in his warm and cosy basket. Only he wasn’t breathing. I checked under the blanket to feel his pulse to make sure. I didn’t want to believe he was gone – even though our dog in spirit Cedar had been here for the past four days, waiting to take him Home.

When I asked Dusty why he slipped away while I was outside, he gently told me “it was perfect timing – my timing.”

The house is filled with his presence still, an invisible cloak of light and love, that is the angel Dusty always was. Even though the end had been coming for a long time, and Andrew and I put in months of around the clock hospice care, his departure left a hole in the fabric of our family. He had been with us seven years.

I miss tending him. I miss fussing over his blankets, making sure his bed was dry and soft, keeping the fire burning all through the night. Sitting quietly with him in the wee hours, taking it in turns with Andrew who is probably hurting the most right now. He also tended him graciously and uncomplainingly for months of broken nights.

Many of you will remember the sweet and gentle chocolate-coloured kelpie who we took on unhesitatingly when we got an emergency call about him. He wasn’t considered fit for re-homing, considered “too old” by other agencies, but needed a home, because his person wasn’t leaving her abusive situation without him finding one. (Good for her, even it that was difficult.)

Dusty came to us with “trauma”. He had been flung across the room, walked with a limp, had the worst case of “shot” nerves anyone had ever seen, a broken tooth and insides that were so shaken up, that he nearly died.

Dusty sleeping on Andrew surrounded by pack.

Dusty sleeping on Andrew surrounded by pack.

When Andrew collected him, this dog wound himself around him and created a deep and lasting bond of the heart between the two of them. Dusty enjoyed long walks, sleeping on top of Andrew, and true peace, fitting easily into our pack.

And then, some months after he came to us, he stopped eating.  A rushed visit to the vet found a diaphragmatic hernia and organs floating around in his chest cavity, the result of “past trauma”. He needed surgery, and there was a question over whether he would survive. But when I tuned in, he so wanted to live, with a fierce determination that belied his frail body.

He survived. And he recovered.

Dusty didn’t want to leave us this time either. He clung onto life, not minding the indignity of being carried outside to go the toilet. Or anything really. He called us his “angels” and always knew “angel hands” would lift him up. So when Cedar arrived in spirit we knew it was time to remind him there were other angels who would take care of him on the other side.

Dusty was one of those funny little furry ones that blessed everyone who met him. People would single him out for a pet or a cuddle. He touched everyone with his gentle dignity.

I don’t think anyone can say a dog is “too old” and therefore unhomeable. Dusty gave us seven years of friendship and love. When hearts bond, no matter the circumstance, they bond for a reason and no “authority” should stand between that bond and dictate something other. I say this because many dogs I have come across have been refused loving human companions they bonded with because the dogs failed a stupid “behavioural” test under scary conditions. I know people have to be careful. I know there are a lot of people who shouldn’t have animals in their care. But the women and dogs this has happened to don’t fall into that category. They are loving, kind, compassionate and capable.

Our family was blessed by Dusty in ways only other human beings touched by the love and gratitude of a rescued animal can understand. He is deeply missed and our little cottage is very subdued as I write. We have done our ritual post death clean of the home, rearranging it and energetically clearing it and now we are taking some nurturing family time with vegan “junk” food and movies. We usually like to take a family day off and drive down the hill to the beach, but for some reason we haven’t managed to do that for the last losses. Overdue for sure.

We know lots of people have suffered animal losses this past little while. And want to send you our love and blessings. We know it hurts.

And those with elder animals, make every day a jewel.  Supporting them through their soul journey is a very special and rich experience for the human spirit.

. . . . . .

Billie Dean is an internationally recognised interspecies telepath, animal and peace advocate and award-winning creative artist.  She  is the author of Secret Animal Business, and  co-founder of Wild Pure Heart Productions which produces  inspiring and heart-warming films about animals and peace.  Billie runs a transformational on-line school Rainbow Fianna, teaching animal communication with ethics and an eclectic blend of native  and visionary wisdom to help people evolve into the human angels animals need them to be. With her husband and daughter, Billie runs A Place of Peace at her home, where over 40 rescued horses run free, and is the founder of the Billie Dean Deep Peace Trust, a not-for-profit that promotes peace and freedom for all animals through the arts, education and compassionate action.  Copyright ©  Billie Dean, 2012.  You are welcome to share  this article but only in its complete form with author, author blurb, and website attached.  Thank you!

Photo credits: Billie Dean

RIP Dear Friends and Other Natural Healing

June 4, 2012


Bindi, who shared our lives from July 1997 to May 2012

We had an intense month with animals here at home.  The full moon took away the soul of our beautiful elder pony, Bindi.  Bindi came to us 15 years ago and told us “no hooning” because somebody had “hooned” on him and broken his collarbone.  During his end time,  I did a healing and found a dark entity sitting on his back – the etheric thought form of the person who had abused him.  Bindi found it hard to let go of his feelings towards this person, and in fact all of humanity who  abuse animals and use them like slaves — or toys.   I took him through a forgiveness process and he put his head on my shoulder as I sobbed with him in the middle of the night under the pine trees and a silver moon. When he let go, he was able to pass peacefully just a short time later.  He had 15 years living in peace and leaves behind three pony mares – his herd and friends.  He was 35.

We all miss him terribly and down in the stables where the ponies sleep, there is an empty stall.

Peter the Goat

Peter, who shared our lives from 2008 to May 2012

We also lost Peter the goat, who couldn’t “stomach” current farming practises. He told me early on in his brief illness that he wasn’t going to live (that is, he was choosing to die). As our daughter is very close to her goats, I begged him not to leave while she was really quite sick with a virus. He left on the first day she was up and dressed.

Peter didn’t want to die in vain, however. He said he had come to me because I was a writer and a Listener.  He wanted you all to know that non-humans are sensitive to what happens to other species at our hands.  And it makes them both angry and afraid.  He told me it was time for all species to live without fear.  He wanted you to know the truth.  Peter leaves behind a herd of friends, who all loved him, as we did. (And thank you to the wonderful Nedda Wittels of Rays of Healing Light for her support during Peter’s illness.)

Meanwhile on the same day Bindi passed, Andrew’s horse Dakota went down with a swollen leg.  So Andrew camped out with him until he was up and we could walk him to the house yard. Dakota’s leg, and the scrapes he got from being down got infected and my sense was septacemia was setting in.  I gave him  a homeopathic for this, he was treated with twice daily  herbal anti-biotics, silver colloid, herbal anti-inflammatories, vitamin C and other herbal teas for the liver  and blood purification (dandelion, clivers, fenugreek rosehips), a Young Living raindrop session daily, and oils in paw paw on the wounds themselves. Dakota is healing very well.  At no time did he get green puss, just free flowing white, very little smell and beautiful  healthy pink skin underneath.  The beauty of this approach compared to a conventional one in my experience and opinion, is that you are nourishing and treating the whole body, building health instead of simply  trying to destroy a bacteria, and thus killing all bacteria (with antibiotics) and possibly causing other problems.

This is not a teaching, and if your horse does get swelling or wounds, see an animal health care practitioner as soon as you can.  I just want people to know that there are alternatives to conventional medicine , but also, as a holistic practitioner, I also recommend using conventional medicine if it is required.  One might need conventional pain killer in the beginning until the herbal anti-inflammatories kick in, for example. However, I just find that most of the time, for the sorts of problems I come across at home,  natural therapies handle them beautifully.

Finally, we then treated our Shetland, Samantha for grief-related illness. Sam is incredibly sensitive and every time she loses a friend, she creates some health crisis and we make a huge fuss over her until she is better.  She was very close to Bindi and they often had their special meals together, away from herd so they could eat in companionable peace.   She came down with diarrhoea, which we nipped in the bud using the Young Living oils – both externally in a Raindrop and internally in juice. Peppermint  Oil is great internally. We also added slippery elm to her feed. And she also had activated charcoal to absorb any toxins in the gut.  Sam is back trotting around with her bigger pony friends and her very special stable mate, Totem the goat.

 . . . . . .

Billie Dean is an internationally recognised interspecies telepath, animal and peace advocate and award-winning creative artist.  She  is the author of Secret Animal Business, and  c0-director of Wild Pure Heart Productions which makes inspiring and heart-warming films about animals and peace.  Billie runs a transformational on-line school Rainbow Fianna, teaching animal communication with ethics and an eclectic blend of native  and visionary wisdom to help people evolve into the human angels animals need them to be. With her husband and daughter, Billie runs A Place of Peace at her home, where over 40 rescued horses run free, and is the founder of The Billie Dean International Deep Peace Organisation, a not-for-profit organsiation to promote peace and freedom for all animals through the arts, education and compassionate action.  Copyright ©  Billie Dean, 2012.  You are welcome to share  this article but only in its complete form with author, author blurb, and website attached.  Thank you!

The Spiritual SIde of Animal Advocacy

June 2, 2012

Sheep at A Place of Peace

Sheep at A Place of Peace

Thanks to the wonderfully kind people who donated to The Billie Dean International  Deep Peace Organisation, we opened our hearts and gates to 200 beautiful young lambs who were due to go to slaughter. That’s a couple of them in the picture there, and they and their brothers and sisters are now safe forever in our front paddock, having moved in with some very surprised wild horses.

It has been an emotional journey. This is the most animals we have ever taken on and they were in my dreams, haunting me and calling me  just two nights before. I couldn’t sleep. I was so relieved and incredibly grateful when they ran onto our place,  and also very, very excited. Because it is not just another 200 sheep who are safe for the term of their natural lives. It is the beginning of something far, far bigger.

It is very very difficult being born a natural animal telepath and empath.  I have felt the pain and suffering of animals all around me, all my life.  And instead of it being something that you can switch off or deaden, the more refined you become in your energy, the worse it is.  To truly understand the old indigenous saying “we are all One”  and “We are all Connected” is impossible unless you allow yourself to touch that part of us called empathy.   When those sheep got distressed, so was I.  When they were happy, I was blissful.

This is why it is so incredibly important that we honour and respect them.  Advocacy is not just about freeing animals, it frees humans as well.    We are not only relieved of the burden of guilt, but we feel lighter and fly higher in the world of frequency and vibration.    We feel at peace.   To understand this, you need to understand the etheric nature of animals, and the resonance created by happy animals, that also impacts humans and the world around us. So read on!

Cows and Etheric Light

Cows and Etheric Light

Check out this picture I took of a cow gambolling off, just after I told her and five others that we had an agreement to buy them.   They would live in peace and freedom for the rest of their days.  The young cows came wandering down the drive not long after we took on the sheep.  In 15 years of living here I have never had the next door cows coming to visit like this.  They came right up to the house, psychically calling me.

Cows with Orb

Cows with Orb

The peace and excitement I felt from these animals was contagious. It helped put me into a state of bliss. Why? Because happy animals who are at peace and freed from fear put out a resonance that affects others. This is my big picture – by freeing the animals, we free ourselves and fall into Divine Deep Peace.

My vision is one of a beautiful tomorrow where animals and people can live in a world without fear – in peace and plenty.

Sometimes spirit moves within you, and asks even short bush elves like me to do the seemingly  impossible. In shamanism, we are reminded of the tiny hummingbird who makes an impossible journey every year. In Celtic druidry, we are reminded of the wren, tiny but intelligent. Sacred birds, full of omen, portent and meaning. Birds which fly on the mythic level of our supposed reality. I have only a few months to raise the funds to secure our farm sanctuary, and all the animals there.  Can you imagine the Light emanating from 1,000 animals freed from fear, and 1,000 acres held in peace? Could this resonance create a morphogenic field, merge with other places of true peace in a grid of light, and create a tipping point into a world of compassion, kindness and peace for animals?

This is what I have been told by Spirit.

Nikki Medwell, who runs the Bed and Broccoli vegan B&B in Victoria, another place of true peace.  She sent me this video of one of her chickens.  (You might need Chrome to view it.)

Do you see the light around her? Can you see that it is not around the other chicken?

This is what true freedom and peace looks like on the etheric. I was so excited to receive this as it is proof of what we are trying to achieve for the planet.

This is what her Dad, trans-medium, spiritualist and retired naturopath Peter Hanson had to say.

Dear Nikki, Your’e right. I can clearly see the Etheric body. A very interesting shot and of course proves that even animals have the life force we call ” The Etheric “. This life force is always brightest when the individual is in an enviroment of love and peace, that which we call happiness. Well done, Nikki. You have a very special place there, which is reflected in many ways. Lots of love, Dad

Please send this to your friends and colleagues, and if you want to support our work, please donate here.

 . . . . . .

Billie Dean is an internationally recognised interspecies telepath, animal and peace advocate and award-winning creative artist.  She  is the author of Secret Animal Business, and  co-director of Wild Pure Heart Productions which makes inspiring and heart-warming films about animals and peace.  Billie runs a transformational on-line school Rainbow Fianna, teaching animal communication with ethics and an eclectic blend of native  and visionary wisdom to help people evolve into the human angels animals need them to be. With her husband and daughter, Billie runs A Place of Peace at her home, where over 40 rescued horses run free, and is the founder of The Billie Dean International Deep Peace Organisation, a not-for-profit organsiation to promote peace and freedom for all animals through the arts, education and compassionate action.  Copyright ©  Billie Dean, 2012.  You are welcome to share  this article but only in its complete form with author, author blurb, and website attached.  Thank you!

News from A Place of Peace – January 2012

January 22, 2012

Brumby mare and foal, January 2012

Brumby mare and foal, January 2012, in our house paddock.

It’s late here at A Place of Peace, the rain falls gently, and when we step outside, we’re greeted by the gentle knicker of a wild mother mare who recognises us as “The Ones Who Bring Food”.   It’s time for their last meal of the day, and the garden has been turned into a nursery for three mother mares and their little filly foals.  The house yard is quite large, and they go under the pine trees and the Hawthorn Tree, the little ones racing around with their tiny tails stuck high in the air.   They are so beautiful, and growing up in complete security, knowing that if they can’t find mum, aunty is close by.  The mares are great mums, and very proud of their babies.  I shudder when I think these foals may never have been born, and their terrified mothers, killed horrifically in slaughter houses which should be shut down forever.

During the day the wild horses graze peacefully in three herds.  Merlin the stallion has his herd which includes the baby colts Emrys and Arthur.   Three grown up colts have their own herd and the girls with baby girls are in by the house.  They are all close by and have the security of seeing each other across the fence.


Zeeka, who passed away in January 2012.

Sadly, we said goodbye to our beloved alpaca Zeeka recently, who pined after his mate Benji who passed last year in October. It is the end of an era here, with no alpacas standing guard over with the goat herd and Sarah the sheep – and to be honest I’m still not quite used to it.

As we were burying Zeeka, I heard the familiar sound of a wild goat mum who had lost her kids. Tamsin and I took the dogs, rushed over and found, thanks to the dogs, two babies left behind. My dogs are untrained kelpies, and yet they know when there is work to do. I asked them to “find” and “hold” and they did – gently, calmly, explaining to the kid that they were friends with thoughts and demeanour, so that I could pick up the baby and take them home.

If we don’t take them home, they are unlikely to survive the night.  We’ve been asked why the mothers leave them and it is for many reasons – sometimes they know the baby isn’t right.  Sometimes the babies fall asleep when the herd walks off.   Sometimes they want us to take care of them.  During the drought the word I heard from one mother as we collected her son, was “hay”. She knew her son would have a good life with us.  She knew he would have food.

Goat Babies, January 2012

Goat Babies, January 2012

Like all goats we’ve hand -raised, we introduce them to the other goats and help them get over their shock with lots of cuddles and rescue remedy.  They all are brought up in the house first. Tamsin is the goat lady and the goats adore her.  This brother and sister are living in the kitchen currently, getting to know everyone and life in the human world (that’s them in the picture sitting on hay).

The brumbies have been interesting. I was shocked to find hoofprints down by the creek, and even across the creek. It started when we gave them  a paddock hay that was not to their taste. It was too much like dried grass. We bought 200 bales of it, after being donated some other lovely meadow hay, which the horses actually like, from one of my lovely students.

Merlin jumped the fence and wandered around the creek, telling me in no uncertain terms that if we couldn’t provide “decent” food, he would have to take his herd to find it himself. And I don’t blame him. The grass is drying and across the creek are lush paddocks full of good stuff, but thanks to the damage from a flash flood we had, there’s currently no water over there. I explained to him that we were working on getting the pipe  fixed and if he could be patient, we would move the herd to greener pastures.

He jumped back into the paddock and I mixed lucerne into the less tasty hay.

Every morning there are 10 brumbies in the paddock, waiting for breakfast, looking innocent.

The brumbies have broken a few fences, showing me they don’t have to stay here at all if they don’t want to. When the shearer came, the nursery herd were so frightened that even the babies leapt the fence, joined the big herd, and they all took off. I had to run after them, calming them down, calling them in, and promising them that no one was going to be killed. Apparently one of the shearers sent a predatory thought to them. It might have been a passing one – but they heard it and shared it with me.

The horses are on extra alert when strangers come.  Their eyes go from soft and curious to wary and guarded.  We might be considered part of the herd but other people are either alarming or to be tolerated.  It’s all about relationship, building trust, and keeping promises.

Speaking of horses we are delighted in the now cemented friendship of Samantha the Shetland and Totem the Goat.  Totem was our first baby we ever adopted from the wild goats, and he would travel in the car with the dogs on outings, as did Sarah the sheep when she arrived.  Totem and Samantha are very bonded and sleep in a stable together at night.  During a recent flash flood, we brought the ponies and Totem up to the high ground of the house.  Totem refused to shelter on the verandah ( and goats don’t really like rain).  Instead, he stood outside the office window with Sam in the pouring rain.

That was another exciting night that had been foretold by a kookaburra, so we were partially prepared.  There was lightning dancing all over the sky, and it was pouring inside and out.  Once all the horses had been moved to high ground ( and I was grateful I’d got in extra torches) , I began to experience a moment of concern for our ancient house.   But then I remembered, two little bush rats had run into the house in plain sight, through the front door!  I knew then the house was safe.  And I silently thanked them.

. . . . . .

Billie Dean is an internationally recognised interspecies telepath, animal and peace advocate and award-winning creative artist.  She  is the author of Secret Animal Business, and  an independent filmmaker of inspiring and heart-warming films about animals and peace.  Billie runs a transformational on-line school Rainbow Fianna, teaching animal communication with ethics and an eclectic blend of native  and visionary wisdom to help people evolve into the human angels animals need them to be. With her husband and daughter, Billie runs A Place of Peace at her home, where over 40 rescued horses run free, and is the founder of The Billie Dean International Deep Peace Organisation, a not-for-profit organsiation to promote peace and freedom for all animals through the arts, education and compassionate action. 

Copyright ©  Billie Dean, 2012.  You are welcome to share  this article but only in its complete form with author, author blurb, and website attached.  Thank you!

Photo credits: Billie Dean and Andrew Einspruch


R.I.P. Clea, the Beautiful German Shephard, and Mari, the Goose

Clea with Billie

Clea, with Billie

September 23, 2011

Clea’s shade is in the bedroom, next to the bed, urging me out for a walk.  “Come on, my dear,” she says enthusiastically.  “Let’s go and experience the day.”

When I agree, she swishes her elegant sweeping tail and glides out of the house, a huge smile on her face – just as she did in life.

Later, her shade is in the kitchen, where I am at the computer in the wee hours trying to finish some work.

“Come to bed, my dear,” she says.  “You need your rest.”

I can’t help the tears when I look up and she isn’t there.  She always waited for me to go to bed.

Clea was a 13-year-old German Shepherd who came to us for hospice care.  She needed a home and we loved her and swore to make every day a jewel.  We believe in the healing ability of the joy factor.  And Clea’s time with us was pure joy.

“Do you want dinner, Clea?”  Her eyes would light up and she would run again, to her spot on the verandah where we put her bowl on a table for her to eat – her nasal cancer made it difficult for her to eat anything at ground level.  She never complained.  She loved miso soup.  She had liver cancer, too, so miso soup was healing and well-tolerated.

We gave her homeopathy three times a day, herbs two and three times a day, daily oils and lots of fun.  It was so rewarding to have a dog who was so grateful for car rides and walks.

She never left my side.

She was a teacher in every sense of the word.  Immediately accepted as the pack elder, she made all the other dogs seem so young.  She taught them how to behave at the beach, grinning in her gracious way as she paddled at the water’s edge.

Despite all the healings from various modalities, Clea refused to heal.  I  wondered what was in the way.  But deep down I knew she wanted to be reunited with the man who had been her main carer, an elder man who had dementia and passed when his beloved dog had finally found a home.  Clea knew he had passed, and her health took a dive from then, even as she made herself more at home with us.

She loved people and would greet everyone who came.  She adored my students and loved to sit in circle with them.   She wove her essence deep into our hearts.

In healing, we talk about healing and  cure.  Ultimately you want both a healing and a cure.  You can cure the symptoms and not heal the soul.  You can heal a soul without curing the body.  And the latter is what happened with Clea.

She made her peace.

She loved Raffi and died, briefly, an hour after he did.  But she came back from the other side.  My red heeler in spirit Cedar had told me it wasn’t Clea’s time, so we stood her up and she took a breath.  She gave us two more blissful weeks to pace our grief.

Mari, the Goose

Mari, the Goose

In that time, we also lost Mari, the precious goose who had had surgery on her beak.  It was healing so well, and then she broke it again.  She had a night in the vet hospital, beautiful surgery again – and died just as the vet was finishing.   We were all heartbroken – even though the signs were there.  I knew, even though I didn’t want to know, that she probably wouldn’t come back from the vet alive even though we had to try and give her our best.

Later, she told me she had a tumour.  Her soul was done.

Hard lessons from the animals.

Clea went for a walk on her last day on earth.  With her usual smile on her face.  Her nasal tumour had shrunk and was healing.   She had breakfast.  And then she died in our arms at sunset.  Peacefully.  We were left in shock.   She left such a giant hole, and even though we knew she wasn’t going to stay forever, you always hope they will.

Meanwhile, Willow was stressed by all the leavings and seizured on an off from the morning of Raffi’s death, to now.  I  began diffiusing Peace and Calming for her as she slept, rubbing Joy on her heart chakra and Valor on her paws, and jasmine on her head.    She appreciated that.

We were also treating an alpaca with an injury and diarrohea  And the day after we buried Clea, one of our thoroughbreds, Tessa, who happened to be in the house paddock for extra TLC with Dakota and Hedgerose, came to the kitchen side of the house and showed me she was dying.  She lay down pathetically and closed her eyes.

Hedgerose asked me if I could do anything.  “No,” I said, too numb for words.  But I did.   Her gums were pale so I gave her Rescue Remedy, and the  homeopathic Aconite for shock.  And in case she was experiencing colic, I treated her with Nux Vom, and then intensively with Carbo Veg and  Ars Alb.  I could hear gut noises and I remembered that Tessa had done this dramatic thing several years ago, standing up as if nothing had happened when the vet was at the front gate.

I  had also anointed her with the oils Valor, Joy and Aroma Life ( on the heart chakra) and despite the drama I could sense a shift.  She was no longer “dying”.

Andrew had long gone to bed and I was on night duty with Tessa.  I told her she was going to be fine and gave her a dose of Peace and Calming, with Peppermint and Di-Gize in apple juice.  The look on her face was comical.  I went off to get some hay, and when I returned she trotted towards me., hungry and alive.

And she still is.


I think the “letting go” period is over now.

Andrew and Tamsin and I are feeling a little shell-shocked, because even though it is the nature of life in the third dimension to lose those who are frail and elderly, loss still hurts.  Even as we see shades and talk to spirits and all of that, you still miss their amazing presence.

It just makes you love even more every day.  Because you never know how much time a soul has got.

I would encourage everyone to have the honour and privilege of taking an older animal on, because, simply, they rock.  Clea said to me, “You got to experience my essence”.

I did.  And her essence, and the experiences we shared, linger.  There is nothing in life more precious than that.

. . . . .

Billie Dean

Copyright ©  Billie Dean, 2011.  Please share this article in its entirety with author’s name and web site. 

Photo credits: Andrew Einspruch, Billie Dean.

Dealing with Death, and R.I.P Raffi, the Movie Star Dog

Raffi, August 2011

Raffi, from August 2011, taken about two weeks before his passing.

Death is one of those mysteries that informs our life, but is never really discussed in our society.  We are not taught to grieve.  And especially not over the loss of an animal companion.  Death and dying is, however, one of the things we discuss in detail during my animal shamanism classes because you want an animal professional to be clear about an animal’s last journey.

In our society, it is common practise by the veterinary profession and others to suggest an animal be “put out of his misery”, not understanding that there is a soul journey involved and a sentient being inside a furry coat with desires of their own.  Death is a natural process, like birth.  It’s only sometimes that help is needed.  And as I teach, sometimes all that is in the way of them leaving naturally, is telling us one final message, or  making one final request.

Having assisted the natural deaths of many, many animals, I am always amazed at the impeccable timing of the animal’s chosen time.  And so it was with our beloved Raffi – a passing so great that it has left all of us feeling delicate.  Having been  emotionally strong when Raffi was passing, I recognised the symptoms of my heart unravelling when Andrew and Tamsin left me alone on the normal homeschool group activity day in Canberra a few days afterwards.

Normally I love my “me” days.  I write.  I hang out with the animals.  I listen to the music and stuff I want to listen to without a teenager rolling her eyes.  But the day began with the brumbies having broken a fence, and there were cuts and loose stools and mares lying down.  The only way I could treat these wild ones was with energetic medicine, colloidal silver, and homeopathics in the drinking water.

The energy medicine worked, the mares got to their feet and the rest of the day was uneventful until I completed the evening chores with my heart suddenly pounding in my chest.  I took a deep breath and tuned into my higher guidance.  A hot water bottle was suggested.  So I lit the fire, got a hot bottle, dowsed my heart chakra in Aroma Life essential oil, and sat with my unravelling wrapped in a blanket with a hot water bottle on my chest.

It felt like my skin was raw.  The thought of the mundane, gross and shrill TV, or even movies, was horror to me.  I needed quiet and stillness.  I needed to grieve.  My chest was burning.   I thought it would burst open if I let it.   I took deep, calming breaths.  Raw and traumatised. I realised that I was holding grief for so many beloveds.  During recent ceremonies, all the killed farm animals – the so called “stock” of the meat industry –had come in for healing and release.  The heaviness in the room afterwards was palpable and it took a while to clear.  Grief was up in the animal world, and I was carrying that, as well as my own for Raffi.

It was time to let it go.

After about an hour, I had recovered enough to make dog dinners and hold the fort until Andrew got home to take over and I gratefully sunk into a deep and healing sleep.

I’m still feeling the fragility that comes with the loss of a loved one even though my head is clear, and I feel integrated and grounded again. To lose Raffi was like losing the heartbeat of our home, because he touched so many through his films and teaching.  He was officially Tamsin’s dog.  She named him the moment she saw him, exhausted, hungry and begging a place to live.  They adored each other.

Years later, his lifeless form lay on the dog bed under a yellow blanket – the colour of sunshine – which is what he was to us, to his fans, and to his animal communication students.

His passing to the world of spirit was very Raffi: charming, peaceful – and his way.  He gave orders right to the end, while we held space and offered remedies and Transition essence.

There is nothing like a life well lived, and a peaceful natural crossing to the other side.  It was an honour to sit in silence with him – and then behold his last breath and his joyful freedom.  He was thrilled to be able to see again, (he’d had cataracts) and said he would be back very soon.

I still feel his presence all around me.   Especially when it hits me that another precious beloved has left us and my heart starts to shake.  Raffi is like an angel then, a comforting blanket of unconditional love.

Raffi knew he was leaving and he knew when.  When I held him crying, and singing a song that had come through in a dream the night before, he waited patiently and gave me a little lick.  He let me grieve and I let him know how much he was loved.

I knew he was leaving, because I was crying and singing – and also because Cedar, our red heeler in spirit, left me a strong sign.

I was down at the stables and picked up a dog tag.  As soon as I read the name “Cedar”, I knew something was up.  Cedar had been gone for over a year.  She appeared in spirit and said she would look after Raffi.  And she did.  She was there at the end, waiting for him in the light.

Raffi rallied for about three weeks after that – and as often happens, looked healthier on the day he died, than he had on that day I mourned him with a song.

He was eating and enjoying life in the gentle spring sun.  He sat in his last circle of animal shamanism students, and was grateful for all the healing we did late in the night.  I kidded myself that he had changed his mind and would stay.  But he hadn’t.  He just changed his date.

Raffi came into our lives in the winter of 1999.  He turned up  on our doorstep as I was writing Finding Joy and turned out to be the perfect star.  Our telepathic connection meant that he was never trained, but he could “hit his mark” for the camera, look depressed on cue, and ad-libbed to make our film even better. Here is the song I wrote and sang for him in Finding Joy.

He was a bit annoyed he wasn’t the star of 7 Days with 7 Dogs – and had to share the lime light with the others.  But in typical Raffi form, he made sure he stole the show more than once.  He knew how to work the camera.

He hasn’t told me when he will be back or what form he will take.  He just said we would recognise him.  Our gentle, cheeky movie star, leaves a huge hole in the tapestry of our sacred weaving here at home.  A lively thread is missing — of brilliant colour.

He left me with a message to give others: “Be happy and love lots.”

And in these times of intense transition, make sure you make every day a jewel.

. . . . . .

Billie Dean

Copyright ©  Billie Dean, 2011.  Please share this article in its entirety with author’s name. 

Magical Moments with the North Kossi Brumbies

Billie Dean feeds Merlin the Rescued Brumby

Billie Dean feeds Merlin the Rescued Brumby

July 29, 2011

So many beautiful things are happening with our 14 new North Kossi brumbies.   The big blue stallion called Merlin has such a kind eye and intelligence, and we have bonded deeply already.  He has eaten out of my hands on more than one occasion.

After a short delay in moving to their new paddock (it required a further fencing fix), the horses explored it quietly.  A young colt we’ve called Star jumped the newly fixed fence with ease more than once to get to the grass on the other side.  But he jumped back in again with just as much ease when we asked him to.  He now understands “fence”, and also “feeding time”, and hasn’t bothered to jump it again.

Wild horses are very different to domestic horses.  They are a wild animal.  Someone asked me if I would be gentling them.  I said no, they would be gentling me, as they are already gentle.

Merline, one of the North Kossie brumbies at Ballyoncree

Merlin, one of the North Kossie brumbies at Ballyoncree

And they are – gentle and sensitive.  So we take our time and build trust with them.  We don’t bother rushing in and try to worm them or “handle them”.  We don’t do join up, as, contrary to popular belief, I don’t think it works with all wild horses.  It certainly didn’t work with our Finn, a brumby stallion we took in six years ago because he was frightened of becoming “dog meat” .  So we have developed our own approach by not being predators, and allowing them to come to us when they are ready.  It’s about building trust and confidence.

You can imagine my delight when young Star today nickered when he saw me.  I was carrying a bale of hay, but even so, it was a heart-warming moment.  I felt completely accepted by the herd as I wandered amongst them, either shovelling manure or spreading out hay , the dogs at my side and the sun shining.  Another colt, Sun, who reminds me of my own beloved horse Sollie, has started following me around and we too have had some lovely moments and magical exchanges.

The brumby herd are still being fed five bales of hay a day (and our thanks to everyone who has donated to support this).  Some meadow, some grassy lucerne.  They have had silver colloid, Himalayan salt  and Rescue Remedy in their drinking trough, have devoured a huge mineral lick, and discovered the open stable.  They have transformed from a group of bedraggled, frightened ponies to horses with shine on their coats and in their eyes.

They are recovering from their ordeal of capture and transport, and have gone from huddling together like footballers in a scrum to lying down in the sun, knowing they are completely safe.  They have stared in astonishment at the cows next door, and watched in amazement as the baby goats climb all over our Troopy.  Coming from the silent wild, they tell me we are “very noisy”.

On closer inspection, we have found two young colts so far, mothers with foals, mothers in foal, and a couple of orphans.  They are all so young that it makes me shudder to think of them being rounded up and stuck in an abattoir, cruelly slaughtered with the intelligence of knowing they are being killed – dying in fear.

I am so grateful they are here and we were able to save so many.

More horses are being trapped right now and if you can please help the effort, we and they would be incredibly grateful.   Please call Kim Hollingsworth on 0421 717 216 if you are interested in taking in a couple of brumbies of your own.  And if you want to help our effort (we’d really appreciate it!), you can make a donation or sponsor a pony.

In peace,

Billie Dean

Ballyoncree Brumby Rescue

Photo credit: © Andrew Einspruch. All rights reserved.

Kossie Brumbies Arrive at Ballyoncree

July 15, 2011

Kossie Brumby Mares on arrival at Ballyoncree

Kossie Brumby Mares on arrival at Ballyoncree

Suddenly, late last Wednesday night, we got the call from NSW Parks and Wildlife that our brumbies had walked into the traps. 15 of them, including three pregnant mares. They wanted to deliver them on Saturday, and I had to leave on Sunday with Tamsin for her writing course in Sydney. It felt like really bad timing. High winds had blown trees down across fences, the yards needed re securing and we had no meadow hay – yet.

I couldn’t sense the stallion I had been communing with down in North Kossi, and my sense of the herd that was trapped was that they were waiting for my decision. They had gone inward.   It was very curious. They didn’t feel like the family who had asked to come to me. And that put me in a huge dilemma. If they weren’t mine, then what about the promise I made to the stallion who had contacted me? If I took these horses, I wouldn’t be able to support the ones who had contacted me as well. And as a shaman, it is vital to me that I keep my promises.

It turned out they just didn’t want to pressure me. Or maybe it was another shamanic initiation of the animal kind. I nearly waited for the next lot. But I didn’t because on one level I knew these were the ones I was supposed to take. One of the ways I can tell is because I cry when I have made the wrong decision.  Or when something is wrong.  Or when there is impending death.   That is my heart intelligence speaking. I cried and so I quickly said “yes” to the horses, and we hired some help to get the place ready on Friday.  Kim Hollingsworth, who had been liaising with Parks and Wildlife for the rehoming of these brumbies, turned up with grass hay an hour before the horses arrived , and all deadlines were met.

In animal rescue, like many other areas of life, it usually happens that it isn’t the best timing, but you jump and step up, because you have to.  Some of this family would have ended up dead if I hadn’t jumped and as soon as I found that out – no question. They all breathed a collective sigh of relief and I felt I had passed some kind of test. Phew.

Learning to listen to your heart intelligence is something everyone needs to do now. If you are called in any way to help any animal, that is your heart intelligence. So don’t listen to your head or anyone else around you. Listen to your heart and enjoy a meaningful relationship with an Other, that will enrich your world beyond compare. Or perhaps, like my call to help the Jeparit ponies, it will lead to a new direction in your life.

And so the truck full of horses arrived.

The stallion, a beautiful intelligent big blue boy, came out of the truck first, backwards. Our ancient wooden ramp collapsed under his weight. And he didn’t bat an eyelid. He knew he was coming here. He wandered calmly unhurt around the yard while Andrew and I held a positive space to counter the concerned talk of them “breaking their legs” as they came out of the truck directly into the yards.   The stallion nickered, and out the others all came – one colt and lots of mares and foals – 13 of them.  One after the other.  All safe. They got out of the truck as if they were born to it. It was an incredible moment.

And so it was with relief and great happiness we celebrated their arrival in their new forever home. There was 14, not 15. And I found myself mourning the phantom horse, as we had mentally and emotionally stretched to take 15, instead of a family herd of about seven, which is what I had been expecting.

The stallion came to me in my dreamtime and told me his name was Merlin. He knows where he is and I am sure we will have a good journey together. He is gorgeous.

All of the horses are settling in quickly. They are so incredibly gentle and sweet. They told me they were used to silence and we were very noisy. They are now used to the dogs. They are so relaxed that they lie down. They are gorgeous and intelligent and we are so in love with them and I am grateful that 14 (probably 17 with foals) are safe from any kind of human abuse and cruelty and will run safe and free at Ballyoncree.

I would like to publicly applaud Parks and Wildlife and also Kim Hollingsworth for their work in rehoming the brumbies , instead of culling them.  This is the sort of world we want.  One of compassion and kindness to all species.

So for me it has been a bittersweet two weeks. The safe arrival of horses to a safe house, and the horrible murder of others who were not safe. The world will become a better place for animals, when we take the compassionate action needed to make it so.  And keep focusing on the dream we want, as if it is already.

The world is now a place of Deep Peace for ALL Species. It is so.

 . . . . . .

Text and Photos © Billie Dean, 2011   (Permission to reuse photo applies.  Contact the photographer on

We're working out the details of the new store, and are getting the items in place. If something looks wonky, or you can't find something, send an email to, and we'll look into it. Cheers, Andrew Dismiss